Challenging the status quo - Issue #33
This is a story about how I figured out I want to challenge the status quo.
Before we get to the story, on International Women’s Day I want to acknowledge all the amazing readers of The Weekly Newsletter - by building this community I encountered a lot of amazing women who are making an impact through their daily life. Ladies, you are amazing. Despite whatever happens in the world and all the pressure, jobs and daily worries, I admire and celebrate your will and power to thrive. You inspire me so much!
I can’t remember specifically the age, but when I was 4 or 5, I remember asking adults around me “What is the meaning of life?”. You might say that such a question is too much for a 4 yo, but till then I’ve seen and experienced a lot of things: violence, hunger, poverty, discrimination. Having seen so much by that age, made me see life through a different lens.
I was angry at the world. For a long while, I wasn’t able to understand why certain things were happening to me. Things that were out of my control. And for a long while, I wanted to control them.
I spent a good chunk of my adolescence being “against systems” and in search of another way of being and thinking. Even when I was silenced I would still ask uncomfortable questions. And people called me bossy because of that. Funny enough, I battled a lot of insecurity. Which is so normal for a teenager. But something inside me burned brighter than adhering to what was considered “normal”.
I found peace in reading, writing and creativity. I never knew how much of an impact it would have on me later on. There was a point in my life when I felt very lonely and I tried for a while to pretend to be “normal”. But behind closed doors, I would go back to the things that I truly and deeply enjoyed - reading about new ways of thinking and being, exploring different forms of creativity which led me to create my first business online. I would spend hours learning about design, artificial intelligence, programming, the human mind, history, sociology, music, art. My mind was like a sponge.
Just like any teenager, I would often feel alienated and misunderstood. But I was starting to build my safe space through knowledge. At some point, from the raging teenager, I started to conform - to try and adhere to “normality”. And for a while, I pretended that everything was ok.
But it wasn’t. I now know that every one of us is different and unique in our special way. However, it’s up to us what we put in the world and how we navigate our own emotions. Some want to have a chill life. Others want to move people to Mars. Some just want to be artists. Each thing that we do contributes to our society in a way. Each thing we work on, speak of, every day we contribute to this tiny world we call Earth.
The moment I started the first business I was hooked. I could fit puzzles just like I wanted. I could put out ideas and products just like I imagined. I could present them how I see them and more than that, people were eager to pay for it. For me, that was amazing.
But then insecurity hit again: I don’t know enough, I don’t have enough skills, I still need to learn from others. I got hired very very young and in one of the jobs I had, I faced severe bullying. Even with so much reading and research, I turned a blind eye to bullying. It was horrible. I would cry daily, but it was hard for me to break the cycle when my background fostered a violent environment. I would have so much rage inside me and remember that I would tell myself that one day I will try as best as possible to be a good mentor and leader for others. And when it happens, I will know how to rise for the occasion.
Funny enough, my bad experiences in the workplace made me turn to entrepreneurship once again. And I felt that flame lightning up again. The desire to build something great and long-lasting with a great impact was there once again. Oh, how I thought that I lost that enthusiasm. But I guess that was me all along.
Our experiences shape us. But it’s up to us to choose what we put forward in the world.
I spent all my 20s in a war with myself. One side wanted to go all the way, challenge the status quo, invent, write, create, code, film, design, move the world. The other side was afraid to go outside what was considered “normal”. But what is normal anyway? Normal is a social construct to define a way to “conform to a standard”. But I was never a standard. I never felt a standard. As a result, slow progress, powerful inner battles till something clicked.
I remember while I was talking to one of my friends one day and she told me “you are one of the deepest thinkers I ever met”. When she told me that, I was funny, enough, deeply ashamed. Being told that “you’re too deep” most of your life, created this narrative for me that being a “deep thinker” was not the norm. And it was weird. And weird was bad. Which of course, is an abomination.
Of course, in this past decade, I went between being fully authentically myself and adhering to “normality” by doing things as they should be. But the last 2 years have been profoundly transformational for me. By fostering my knowledge and systems throughout my lifetime (turning 31 this year), I could analyse how my life was going and how I overcame my trauma. All this with the purpose of living an intentional, happy and healthy life.
The true wake-up call happened last year. I remember talking to a potential investor telling him about our plans for VAUNT(the startup I co-founded), what we want to achieve, and what impact we want to have in the world. When he asked me “why would you bother doing that? it might take you years”, I then realised that challenging the status quo is something that I’ve always done since I was little. Starting with questions like “what is the meaning of life?”, to wanting to become a better leader for others, creating systems for overcoming personal trauma and thriving in life, I concluded that this is my life purpose. And my friend was right. I am a deep thinker. And there is no shame in embracing your weirdness, whatever that is for you.
I promised myself that I will find a way to make a standard out of this system I briefly wrote about so others could try and use it for their self-development journey.
Till then, I’m very happy to announce this weekend we will have the first video posted on YouTube. I managed to find a way to bring consistency in creating content and I am ready for you guys to see it on YouTube as well. I am excited for this future decade, the materials I worked on that I am finally brave enough to put out in the world.
I hope this story inspires you to own a bit of your weirdness. As you can see it took me a very long while, but it’s not impossible if you’re open to change. As we’re navigating historical moments, I think it’s up to us more than before to work on ourselves, build character, contribute to society and rise to the occasion in our special way.
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