How to get started when feeling stuck - Issue #29
Each year, in January it feels like there is a reset and we can change things. But what if you feel stuck?
Throughout my life, I had multiple moments when I felt stuck. Even when I knew what I wanted the result to look like, I wasn’t able to get started. Other distractions got in the way.
Cleaning the house...
One more episode on Netflix...
The excuse of “no time”...
The excuse of “lack of motivation”...
The excuse “waiting for the right moment, or when I will reach this point I will get started”...
And I am sure you can add your excuse to this list as well.
Well, January it’s almost over and you still haven’t started. How does it feel? Like you wanna go to bed and snooze the feeling of guilt away? I fully understand trust me. I know how it is to feel that way. I’ve been there so many times I lost count. I know that you think you’re not made for this or you’re waiting for the perfect moment.
There is no other way to tell you but... there isn’t a perfect moment to start this. There aren’t any perfect tools that will solve your problem and not even “Atomic Habits” will help you rewrite your habits to reach your goal.
You have to get started. How?
Before we get on the practical side, I need to give you a fair warning. Whatever goal or thing you would like to create, will involve an amount of discomfort. It will require you to be mentally prepared to replace other behaviours including failing and starting again.
It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
One year from now you will have already started and failed and started a couple of times, but you won’t have to deal with a sense of guilt of not starting and trying and trying again. You will have some experience on the subject to do it better. Who knows? You might even become an expert at it. Or you might find more joy in your life.
But you need to know: It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
Well if you remember from my last newsletter, you need to get super specific on your goal. Please refer to my previous newsletter for specific writing
I want to (insert goal) to (benefit) by (specific timeframe).
The more specific it is, the easier it will be for you to follow it.
After you set your goal, depending on how complex it is, you might need to break it into very specific small goals. The more specific it gets the easier it is to measure and keep track.
Why are we doing this? Because right now the thing you are trying to do involves rewriting a habit. Why? Because by creating a habit out of the thing you want to do, will make it easier to keep it up and achieve it.
You might ask: But if I want to change my career path or move to another country how does this apply to me? For every specific thing we want to change in our life, there are a series of changes in our habits that will lead us up to achieve our final goal.
For instance, if you want to lose weight or get in shape, it requires you to rewrite your eating habits and your workout habits and maybe your sleeping habits.
So after you figure out your goal, you need to break it into small achievable goals. This depends on the amount of discomfort you are used to. Once it becomes part of your daily routine, it’s not that hard at all. And it applies to your career as well. I’ve seen my partner do that. It required a lot of discomfort and determination, but each person can do it.
Now you need to measure them. How do you measure progress? The best way is to do a weekly review and see how far you have gotten. My personal experience is to take it one step at a time and just do one at a time. If the goal is a complex one, it will require a lot of steps to make it achievable. To maximise your success you need to trick your brain into having more faith in yourself. By achieving each step, you are showing yourself you are capable of taking action and making progress. With time you will get used to bigger challenges. You will be able to achieve harder goals faster.
You gotta love the human mind.
What if I fail?
Well, as I said in the beginning, it’s not easy. That’s why a weekly review is mandatory. If you happen to miss your goal that week, it’s important to acknowledge it and figure out why it didn’t work out and how you can change that. Sometimes the bigger question is: do I want to change that?'
Let me explain.
Sometimes we believe that we want to achieve something. And in the middle of the road, we figure out it’s not for us. You have the option to change that. It’s important that you noticed that. For instance, your goal is to have a six-pack in 2 years. But on your journey of building a six-pack, you realise that it requires too much of your time and you’re content with just hitting the gym 3 times a week and having built your percentage of muscle mass. Maybe the six-pack lifestyle it’s not for you and it’s ok. Now you have a lot of knowledge about changing a habit so you can proceed to your next adventure. Because you already achieved what you want.
So let’s do a recap:
Mentally prepare for discomfort and assess your discomfort level aka the level of discomfort you want to take on. Mentally prepare to give up on some things to make room for others.
Define a goal as clear as possible with benefits and timelines.
Break that goal into small achievable goals and pick one at a time for a set time depending on your goal.
Measure progress every week.
If you fail, reassess and restart. Figure out if your final goal is in alignment with your wants and needs.
Repeat.
Thank you for sticking to the end. I hope this was at least insightful for you. In the next newsletter, we’re going to talk about the concept of dopamine detox and what experiment I am currently running.
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